Frustrated

How does one keep failing to try?

How is it that no matter how hard I push and I push,
shoving and pushing,
I get nowhere.

How do I keep failing to try?

A blog dedicated to poetry,
websites dedicated to getting my work out there,
callouts for those who need writers.

Working, working, working, working,

but I get stuck with nothing.

What do I have to do to get some recognition?
What do I have to do to get noticed?
What do I have to do to get someone, somewhere, to care just a little.

I'm trying, but I'm failing.
I'm failing to try.
I'm frustrated.
I don't know how far I have to reach,
how hard I need to push,
how much I need to change until I'm finally accepted by something.

I'll give up my vision,
I'll give up my plans,
I'll change it all

I just want something to remind me why,
can someone please remind me why I'm working my fingers to the bone.

Someone please tell me.
Please just someone...

someone please give me a reason to keep writing.

To the tune of a song you'll never hear

Twiddling feet.
Hanging moss, suspended from trees, frozen in a motionless sway.
Blue sky, no clouds.
Burning sun, no shadows.

Fingers typing, clicking against qwerty keys,
writing the deep emotion of others,
but as empty and as hollow as the cold metal desk rod pressing into her thigh.

There's the smell of coffee,
stomach rumbling,
thinking about fish tacos and churro sticks with chocolate.
Text messages asking for help,
but she can't provide it.

Trapped in a desk.
Trapped in her mind.

Empty, apathetic,
cold, unfeeling.
Dissociative from the whole world.

White shirt, dark brown hair with blonde highlights.
Green jacket with blonde hair.

Changing faces, lectures, desks.
Never the change in me.