Monday, July 23, 2018

Requiem for a Demon

Inspired by the lyrics of “Requiem” from the musical: Dear Evan Hansen


“Why should I go and fall apart for you?” 

Every breath I take goes to you…
Every heartbeat belongs to you.

In your head you are my world…

“Why should I have a heavy heart?” 

You were supposed to always be there for me.
You were supposed to catch me when I fall…

But you never did.

Don’t you dare tell me we are black and white, 
Don’t you dare tell me how I should feel. 
Don’t question me for my lack of tears…

I’ve sung too many requiems for you…
I’ve given you too many breaths…
Too many heartbeats have been thrown away by you.

I tried…
to let you be everything for me. 
I tried…
to be the goddess you wanted. 
I tried…
to be the angel you needed. 
I tried…

I cried once for you. 
Seeing into your eyes, 
watching the memories disintegrate into wisps of smoke.
That was the one time I cried, 
The moment I felt my heart truly beat for you. 

Since then I never felt the same heartbeat…
Even when we were one I was two. 
You struggled to accept my duality 
But begged that I accept yours.

“Why should I go and fall apart for you…
“Why should I say I’ll keep you with me?”

I will sing no more requiems…
You’ve died too many times for me to give you my tears. 
If I cried it wouldn’t be genuine anymore…
It’ll be as fake as your “I Love You”

It will be as tainted as your reality…
It will be as fake…

“Why should I have a heavy heart?
“Why should I go and fall apart for you?”

I have given you too much. 
I have given you…

I tried to be human for you. 

Don’t you dare tell me that it was real. 
Don’t you dare question my lack of tears, 
If I broke down and cried right now 
It’ll be as fake as you.

You were supposed to stay. 
You were supposed to be my pillar.

Why did I end up being only yours? 

Why did our love become a contest of pretending?
Was there even enough love to start the game?

I will sing no more requiems…























tonight.

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