Mood supressors

Smile, Smile, Smile.

Laugh, Laugh, Laugh.

Pretend. Pretend. Pretend.

I was proud of my championship belt,
being labeled as the queen of pretend.
Pretending to be happy,
pretending to be content,
pretending to be in love.

But now my game has crumbled,
I'm exposed as the pretender.
And for a while I hated it.
I hated being the one to be seen as the professional liar.

But now I'm in a better place.
With better people.
Donned with a new heart a new mind,
a new smile.

Yes I am broken.
Yes I am abused.
Yes I have been abandoned.

But that's okay.

I choose to wear my scars,
accept my broken heart.
Cause before I saw healing
as an acceptance to weakness,
as a perverse selfish act.

But no more.
I want to heal, I want to get better,
and that starts with an acceptance to my past weakness.

No matter how many steps forward I take,
I'm leaving behind the person I was.

But now we'll walk together as one.
This is my duality.