1:45 am

 I was aware of the time.

I'm not aware of it anymore. 

I want to write about you, 

to talk about the person you are. 

I'm sure everyone has heard me speak, 

as if you are still here. 

Because you are. 

You promised you wouldn't leave me. 

But now there's a hole in my heart, 

my little family is incomplete. 

1:45 am I got the call. 

The call that my precious brother, 

my best friend in the whole world, 

was gone. 

There was crying, 

shaking, 

begging, 

pleading. 

Please god, not him. 

It felt like a bad dream. 

But then came more calls, 

texts, 

Facebook notifications. 

It took the world two days to learn 

what I had to in seconds. 

I don't want to say goodbye, 

so I won't. 

I don't want to wait until resurrection 

or whatever religious sayings can help me get through the pain 

because it won't. 

I don't want to say goodbye to my brother, 

but I have to. 

I shouldn't have to say goodbye, 

but I have to. 

I love him beyond words can describe, 

and the tears just won't stop flowing. 

He is my precious big brother, 

my best friend. 

And now I have to say goodbye... 

and I just can't. 

William Christopher Rodriguez

Dec. 16th, 1988- Jan. 23rd, 2021