Back in the Swing

Unsure and anxious.

Taking a step away from one pain
and crossing a line into a new world that was once your old one.

I hide in my room to avoid being seen,
trying to act normal
and pretend that I will never not be scared.

The voices in my head that scream and high volumes,
aren't silenced.
They merge together until it's a white noise of anxiety.

Is there an easy way to be normal?
Is there an easy way to act like I can function
without breaking down.

Is there an easy way to pretend you aren't made of shattered glass,
held together by tape and strings?
One tiny push of pressure on the glass and it shatters.
How can one smile and hide the ghostly emotions inside.

Do you walk with your eyes actually straight ahead instead of downcast?
Do you say hi to everyone you pass?
Do you strike up a conversation with every cashier?

How do you not shrink at the idea of talking to others?
Or fear a conversation with people you don't know?

Fear is all around me and what makes me up,
so how do I learn to live without it?

I took a step forward, coloring my hair to try and see if a change will help.
But I'm just as scared.
How do I hop back into the swing of being an individual?