Irregular heartbeat

The human heart is so fickle.

Maybe sometimes it would be better if we were to live without it.
Sure our pulse would cease,
and our blood won't flow,
and yeah sure our brains would freeze

but maybe it is better to lose
than to live and love.

I'm looking for a sign, a reason,
a feeling to latch on to.
How can one person stand out above the rest,
and make you think that the world doesn't matter.

Maybe because I never truly loved.
I've never felt the heat of another heart,
the fingers interlacing and twining together,
there's only ghosts of love.

But love is a ghost.
A heart wrenching phantasm that stalks our dreams
and haunts the waking days.

It is a specter of life.

You abandon your friends for an embrace.
Family is seen as a barrier keeping you apart.
The world has no sympathy because he is the world.

Can one truly live a fulfilled life in the cage of another's heart and desire?
Bound to the dream of a lifetime,
the uncertain promise of forever?

Then what about the paradox of lust.

What separates the need for flesh,
from the desire for a person?
Sex blurs those lines.
Taking an eraser to boundaries, and wiping it all clean.

Sex leaves fingerprints,
in the heat of passion 'love' is said,
but is it truly meant?

Do you love the person
or do you love the flesh?

How can one differentiate an irregular heartbeat
as lust or love?

My heart can race for you,
but it can also race because of your  touch.
How does the a four letter word change the rhythm?

Age doesn't make you wiser.
You aren't any wiser to love at ninety than you were at fourteen.
You never know better,
and we may never know.

Im frustrated, confused, lost in the feelings.
Watching people hurt others
because there isn't a power in earth stronger than love
but lust.